Brace for the Holidays! Have a plan

As Halloween passes, we know that the season of over-buying and over-eating is approaching, so it’s time to prepare.  You want to enjoy being with friends and family without having the hangover of overspending, or worse, going into debt to finance all the fun. 

Make the gift giving fit with your cash management

Over-buying does not make you happier and usually makes the recipient uncomfortable.  Also, over-spending is likely to make achieving your long-term goals more difficult, which can add to the depression some feel at this time of year.

For gifts, “it’s the thought that counts” rings true.  Most recipients appreciate being remembered for who they are and what they do.  Think back to what you enjoyed most in past holidays and let that guide you.  This can help you stick to your values as you think through the entire process and devise your holiday shopping plan.  The time spent together may be far more important and rewarding than unnecessary giving.

Have a plan

Technology and social media can make shopping easier, but they also make it easier to overspend and end up with credit card debt from funding your gift giving.  

Part of the reason is that many such purchases are spontaneous.  People often regret these unplanned purchases.  Over 70% of people in one survey exceeded their budget and over half bought items not on their list.  This can make the new year bleak (More than 3 in 4 Americans are stressed about going into debt over the holidays — and technology’s not helping ) Counter this by creating a realistic budget, lookout for sales, review your budget to make sure you are on track. 

Budget – If you determine what you can reasonably spend and allocate that to people for whom you want to buy gifts, or give holiday tips, then you have a spending plan that should get you through.  When devising your plan, go back to your financial goals to remind yourself why staying on track is so important.  Include time for present wrapping to avoid time pressure that encourages splurge buying.  Also, you may want to have small gifts on hand for unexpected guests.  You can use budget apps, such as NerdWallet, to create a budget.  When you do, stick to it! 

If the people for whom you are shopping have wish lists, follow them for ideas.  And leave items in your shopping cart overnight to take a second look and avoid regretting a splurge purchase.  Ask “does the person really want or need this?,” especially if you are shopping for yourself!  (It may be wise to avoid, or at least substantially limit, any buying for yourself.) 

Be Wary of Black Friday, Cyber Monday and other retailer tricks

If you do your homework, you can determine if waiting in line or buying on line will be best.  As stated above, create a budget and stick to it.   

Be on the lookout for retailer other tricks like flash sales, loyalty cards, incentives to return for more purchases, misleading refund policies.  Similarly, procrastinating can lead to splurge buying ruled by emotions such as the need to please everyone and get the shopping done.

Avoid scams

With the pressure of the holidays to address all the gift giving, parties and thank yous, stay vigilant for scams.  These can come in the form of bogus IRS and social security calls, credit card offers, computer software deals and fake invoices.  There are many phishing sites you can use to check out whether the offers are legit

Review our Holiday Tipping Guide

As for tipping, see our post Guidelines for Holiday Tips and Gift.

Remember, if you’re unable to tip or give a gift, a thoughtful thank you note will acknowledge those people who are important to you.  You can even make a donation in their name. 

Brace for over-eating and possibly even depression

This blog is does not profess to have any expertise in psychology.  Nonetheless, we have all heard how holidays can be disappointing if not depressing from some.  The Hallmark gatherings promised on TV or social media rarely happen in real life. 

If the holidays are depressing, consider volunteering somewhere, such as a soup kitchen, or getting out for some serious exercise.  Both can lift your mood as well as either help others or improve your health.  Allow time to rest and recover!  And try a warm drink, tea not bourbon, or a warm bath. 

Take care of yourself – it’s hard to help anyone else if you are not in good shape yourself.  But if you are really experiencing holiday depression, speaking to people can help, be that family, friends or professionals.

We wish you all the best for financially sound, and fun, holidays!  And let us know if we can help you plan.

Holiday Planning Series with the Squash Brothers, part III, debt management

Watch our Holiday Planning Series, Part II, as Steven and the Squash Brothers discuss debt management so you do not overspend and end up with credit card debt you can’t pay off.

Thanks for watching our series!

Holiday Planning Series with the Squash Brothers, part II, cash management

Watch our Holiday Planning Series, Part II, as Steven and the Squash Brothers discuss cash flow planning so you have more to spend (or to save!).

Next time, debt management.

Holiday Planning Series with the Squash Brothers, part I, tax planning

Watch our Holiday Planning Series, Part I, as Steven and the Squash Brothers discuss taxes, “starting backwards with tax planning now so you pay less next April.”

Next time, they discuss cash management.

Divorce, do you litigate or mediate? Well, do you want to be right or happy?

Someone once said:

“You can be right or happy.”

It’s true; and it’s a choice!

Okay, but how does that apply to divorce?

Trying to prove you are right usually means going to court, hoping that the judge affirms your view and declares you the just one. When you try to persuade a judge to adopt your view of “right,” you enter lengthy and costly litigation. In contrast, seeking to be happy usually means using mediation to work out a settlement so you can move on with your life. You save time and money.

Leaving aside situations involving abuse or criminal activity, couples should choose mediation over litigation. When you separate and divorce, you are dissolving a partnership. As with any other financial separation, if you minimize emotional reactions, you are can reach a fair outcome more quickly with fewer lasting scars. And you have are more likely to find happiness in your new, separate lives.

When emotions guide your finances, the outcome is not often the best. Going to court for your divorce will certainly cost more and take longer, but it is also unlikely to result in an outcome with which you are happy.

Costs

The typical cost for mediation in Massachusetts is $3,500. If you choose to go to trial, your cost will exceed $30,000. Add in depositions and expert testimony, and your total will easily exceed $100,000.

Time

The time to complete mediation and sign a separation agreement to sign is up to you. Typically, you can be done in a couple of months. Litigated divorce depends on the judge’s schedule. This means that your first appearance could be six months or more from the date you file. If you have multiple days in court, the total time to completing trial and receiving a final decree from the judge could take well over a year.

Emotions

Litigated divorce involves a battle to show who is right. Attorneys vigorously representing their clients can make the process seem quite nasty. This can lead to anger and hurt feelings that mediation may avoid.

Children

Going to court to fight over finances does not project the best message to children who need love and understanding during the upheaval of their parents separating. The emotional impact of fighting in court can spill over into how parents interact when dealing with their children.

Better Outcome

Successful mediation often reveals possible solutions that other dispute resolution methods may not. If these solutions provide a better result for both parties, then mediation has created a better outcome. s

Save your time and money, use mediation. Then move on. You are likely to be happier this way.